So the other day I recieved some feedback. I was a little too extra confident and to be honest for a little bit I thought "oh yeah I'm perfect I have no space for improvement"
(just wanted to add this special effect sound to give a little bit of dramatic tension to my story... back to it!)
I requested some feedback from someone I admire. We only have a professional relationship. She was amazing, took the time to listen and observe and she gave me some feedback.
Detailing my strenghts but more importantly letting me know the amazing opportunity I had by having space to grow. I wasn't very happy at the begining to be honest. After listening to her feedback and thanking her and being a little disapointed with myself I realized that all I wanted was to be praised. I reminded myself of the reality.
Once we stop trying to grow or once there's no space to grow we die. I started to feel lucky and grateful and most importantly I was ready to listen to the feedback and do something about it.
I know that getting feedback can bring a storm of feelings. Anxiety, excitement, fear, "cockyness", hope.... That why I wanted not only to share with you my story but also some actionable tips to "grafully accept feedback:
🔥Listen fully:
Someone is being generous enough to spend some of their time providing feedback that think is helpful. Make sure you listen carefully even if you have a little voice inside your head SCREAMING “I’m great! How dare you not telling me what I want to hear!!?”.
Remember if you get offended or defensive they won’t be honest again in the future. Tell that voice to shut up and list, listen, listen.
🔥Ask questions:
Make sure you understand what they mean in full extend (in case they haven’t explained themselves very well). Be curious to understand their perspective and what alternative they’d like to see. At the end, you can decide to take their feedback or not but understanding their point of view will help you.
🔥Take what works for you and leave the rest:
You won’t address or work on something unless you are willing to. Every situation in life has the potential to teach us something new. Look for that. Maybe you are not ready to listen, take some time and come back to it. Also pay attention to the comments you think are way off (perhaps you can find some gold in there).
🔥Take action:
Congratulations! Now you have more awareness. You are a little more aware of your strengths and areas of development. But awareness is useless without action.
Create a plan that addresses the feedback you want to work on and make sure you do it (get a coach or an accountability partner if that’s helpful for you!).
🔥Keep asking for feedback:
Feedback is the key to growth. It shows that you are interested in improving. Asking often and for smaller chunks of feedback gives you a more manageable small unit of things to work at the time.
Keep asking for feedback especially from the “hard people”. Sure there’s people who we feel kore naturally in sync but these are most likely to just praise us giving little space to grow. And that’s great! Specially if you are trying to gain some confidence. Ask people who are not that close to you or not as friendly. They will have far more feedback focused on your growth (and again you can decide what you want to take with you). Plus asking those people might end up bringing you a little bit closer because people love to be asked for advice!
I would also add that it’s important to reflect critically on feedback. Look where is coming from and listen carefully to the people who have the best interest for you in their heart.
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And if you are interested in effectively tackling some feedback you've received recently get in touch with me, I would love to help you grow, feel and be your best.
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